April 30th 2006
In here, I am a god among peasants. Here, I am all the things that I make merely a mediocre attempt to be in life. Here I am devout, here I am strong, and in here, I am the avenging angel of swift justice. In this place, I have all that I need, and a palace on earth that I could only hold in the palm of my hand if I lived a thousand lifetimes.
Out there I am simple, working beneath my abilities, happy to wake with the things that are a part of me. In here I am poetic. I am musical. I am lyrical. I am prose. I am all of the things that an avenging angel, a harbinger of the light should be.
Here I can be whatever I forge myself to be, I have come to my fullness of being here. I am complete, I am one. Out there, I am the king of my own little box, but in both worlds I have a muse, who can light my path. I watch her. She makes me smile, and helps me craft the pages of my life; she holds me when I have lost myself.
I have a home, although it is not these sturdy walls, it is not this place, within or without. It is with her, wherever she may lead me, for I have sworn my strength and my faith to her, alone. In return, I will keep myself in her company, as long as she wills it, though I am destined to destruction should she leave me. Therefore, here I escape, here I am devoted, sure of myself, and carry my avatar with a nobility and grace that I feel has been long buried within me, somewhere. Oh, to harness that pride, to overwhelm the demons that still haunt me, and banish them to the shallows of my will, shall make me that man who has lost his way, the man that has been torn from this world.